When I picked up Asher, my pet rabbit, from the store weeks ago, he sort of came with a bit of a disclaimer.
"Look, every other pet in this store....going to be about as predictable as dry toast," the owner, Jack, began to tell me, then hesitated, rubbing his chin thoughtfully with one stubby finger. He seemed to be thinking how to put the rest. I'd gone into the shop a few times before, and always thought the tattooed, heavyset man behind the counter to be affable but a bit strange.
"Let's just say I get these rabbits from an unusual place," Jack finished, smile gone.
"Where? Jersey?" I joked, but I lost my own grin in a matter of seconds. Jack was completely serious, and the dim lighting of the main display room cast eerie shadows over his face.
"Where do you get them?" I asked in a solemn tone.
Jack shook his head. "That's a secret of the business, buddy. But I can tell you the rabbits, at least from this store, each has its own quirk, you know? If you're going to purchase one, just be careful."
"You aren't the greatest salesman," I said. It started out as a joke, but I ended up being completely serious.
Jack only shrugged, rubbing one tattooed arm. "Hey, take 'em, or leave 'em. I have to sell them regardless."
Despite what I said to him, Jack must've been an effective salesman because I ended up buying the rabbit. I thought about its name on the way home, and for some reason Asher popped into my head.
"Seems fitting," I said, and Asher clucked almost as if in agreement, and he appeared to be dozing in the cage as I walked through the front door of my house.
At first, everything was great with my new pet rabbit. He loved attention, but wasn't overly fussy or anything. Nothing really out of the ordinary happened, except for the first several nights I would be woken up by a slight whooshing or crackling sound. It'd be very subtle, but just enough to stir me from sleep.
So I'd get up and check on Asher, and there he'd be, sleeping in his cage. Then one night something really off the wall happened.
I heard the same sound as usual, and I slowly got out of bed to check up on him. I was irritated and mystified. This had been going on every night since I'd gotten the thing.
I could've sworn I also heard cursing. The voice coming from its cage seemed oddly human.
Asher stood on his legs, eyes large and rimmed in a mildly horrifying red. It didn't look like blood exactly, and I wondered if it had to do with him being demonic. Or possessed or something. I brushed those thoughts away as being the remnants of a half-forgotten nightmare.
"I can't believe I lost!" Asher said. My mouth dropped and dread dried my tongue. He was shaking his head, eyes nearly murderous with rage. "Another month in this fucking rabbit body, on top of 3 years, 46 days...etc. At this rate, I'm going to gamble my way right into eternity!"
Just the look in Asher's eyes scared me, and they actually appeared larger than before. His little rabbit body also had taken on a red, angry tinge. Despite its size, I was afraid to take a step closer.
Then, as if remembering himself and the superficial laws of nature, he stopped speaking and just looked at me, making those soft clucking sounds.
"I know you just fucking talked!" I said to the thing. He merely cocked his head, licking a paw and rubbing it over one long ear.
"C'mon, say something!"
But Asher was silent, except for a few confused seeming clicks. Even though I was very certain he'd said something, something undeniably human, I began to doubt what I'd heard.
So, after several moments of confusion, the exhaustion from the previous day still clinging to my bones, I crawled back under the covers. I slept for a few more hours, then, since I had the day off from work, I decided to get dressed and take Asher back down to the pet store.
Honestly I didn't know what I was going to do. Ask for a refund? Try and pry out of Jack he knew he sold me a super-intelligent, deranged rabbit? I remembered the look in its eyes, and I involuntarily shivered.
Down at the pet store, Jack was wiping down the main service counter (he told me once he liked to keep a clean establishment, almost obsessively so). He yelled at an employee I'd never seen before, a skinny, scrappy looking dude who looked a little too young to be working there.
Jack seemed to be uncomfortable with maintaining eye contact with me, and as soon as the skinny kid went into the back storage room, I stared at Jack, hoping to make him crack and tell me the truth.
"You know about the rabbit," I said. "You knew there was something wrong with it, but you still sold it to me!"
Jack gave me a hard look, then his gaze went to the back part of the store, scanning it to make sure the gangly kid had gone.
"I'm not sure what you're referring to," Jack replied, voice cutting against a slight gurgle because of the beverage he'd been drinking. "What exactly did you find strange about the rabbit?"
Then I realized how much of a talented salesman Jack was. Turning my accusation into a question.
He ran a large, pale hand across a shaved head. He was waiting for me to answer. Actually, it felt more like a bluff. I knew he'd knowingly sold me some possessed or demonic rabbit, and I brought the cage up to the counter, holding it there almost accusingly. I couldn't come right out and say it, and Jack figured I didn't want to come across as crazy.
Asher clucked a few times, then a strange intermittent purring sound took over.
"Look, you even said you got the rabbits in your store from an unusual place, right? Well, this one's clearly fucked up, and I'm betting the other ones are too!" I said, placing Asher's cage on the counter.
"And I don't care if you won't refund me my money. Just take the damn thing back!"
On the way out, I caught the kid gawking at me for a brief moment. I tried not to make it too obvious that I'd seen him. So I headed out to the cold, sunny afternoon...and hid out of view of the front doors. I didn't know why, but I had the distinct impression he'd come outside and say something. I saw it in those eyes.
After about twenty minutes, I was nearly ready to leave because my ears were close to snapping off, when he came out.
He introduced himself as Caleb, and the first thing I noticed was how twitchy he appeared to be. Yet I detected in his large hazel eyes that the fear and anxiety stemmed from something recent, not innate personality.
Caleb said he couldn't talk long, didn't want Jack to become suspicious. He also claimed he wanted to show me something later that night, once the store had closed. His parting comment had been a warning, that just because I returned the rabbit didn't mean it would disappear from my life.
I walked home, and I found I was a bit jittery coming through the front door. Despite that, I decided to try and take a nap before nightfall in case whatever Caleb wanted to show me made for a long night. My thoughts turned to Asher as I fell asleep.
I woke to a painful biting sensation on my foot, and I instinctively kicked my feet to shake the thing off. I threw off the covers, and there was Asher, large eyes rimmed in a hungry red, ears slicked back against his head in a display of sheer predatory evil.
But he was yanking my foot, not just biting it.
"Why won't it fucking come off!" Asher exclaimed, but a moment later he disappeared in a quickly dissipating cloud of smoke buttressed flame.
I just sat on the couch, stunned. I remained that way for several minutes until the phone alarm I set buzzed against my leg. I shook my head as if to clear it, then looked out the window of the living room. The rays of the setting sun were poking through the curtains, and I jumped into action, grabbing my hoodie from the rack and heading out the door as quickly as possible.
Along the way, I figured I'd get there a little after dark. I walked a bit more casually than normal, so I wouldn't get there too early and risk a run in with Jack.
My estimation was spot on. The stars were sparkling in a sea of eerie blackness as I approached the doors, with Caleb waiting just behind them. The anxious look on his face from earlier was still there, and he opened the doors with a weird kind of flourish, like it was the grand opening or something.
"You got lucky," Caleb exclaimed while I walked in from the gnawing chill outside. "Jack left not even ten minutes ago. I think you'll want to see what's in back. Well, you might want to un-see it if you get what I mean."
We walked to the back of the store. I did my best not to focus on the various animal sounds as we did so, and before I knew it we were past the double doors which had initially piqued my curiosity.
A large room with bare concrete walls stretched into darkness. It felt nearly cavernous, but not quite. I wondered if it was a part of the store condemned on the other side of the building.
More importantly, rows of cages stretched along the walls, some of them empty, others occupied by the same fiery eyed kind of rabbit I'd owned.
"They come in through the dark hole over there, already in cages," Caleb said, voice shaking. He was wringing both hands, probably thinking the mere act of talking about it would curse him.
"What is this place?!" I asked incredulously.
"Nothing special about this room, but it's what's beyond that dark hole that matters. I've never had enough balls to go through it."
Caleb went on to explain. According to him, these things came from Hell, or something vaguely similar. He said Jack talked about them all the time, about how they'd gambled their lives away previously, and some of them, if they'd had otherwise rotten, morally bankrupt lives, would come back as evil rabbits obsessed with luck.
I thought of my foot, and how Asher seemed so intent on removing it from my body. So I told Caleb what happened, how the hellish creature disappeared in a cloud of smoke and flame.
Caleb looked like he was thinking of something.
“Well...if what Jack told me is true, some of the damned rabbits will gamble all their time away, so they have to spend the rest of eternity in their current bodies. They don’t like the outcome, so try to escape. Hell, or whatever that place is, not saying it is or isn’t, but it’s similar, like I said...it doesn’t like defectors. That doesn't stop them from trying to steal good luck charms right before they disappear in a sulfuric haze. I mean, I got lucky and was able to slither into a human body, but Asher?...he didn’t know what he was doing.”
A slight, thoughtful pause, then Caleb continued. “It wasn’t just luck on my part. I waited out my initial sentence after I was “damned” then found some random kid on the street. But Asher didn’t want to wait. Fuck. He could never wait for anything! He thought if he could win at cards, or the slots, he wouldn’t have to wait out his sentence. I kept telling him, the house always wins!”
His monologue went from claiming Jack told him everything he needed to know about this hellish other dimension, to him asserting direct experience. From a lie to a tainted truth. Being a damned soul himself. Caleb was prideful, trying to say because he knew enough to wait, he preyed on some unsuspecting teenager and used him as a vessel. And now he was free.
I left the pet store, and Caleb said he wouldn’t hurt me as long as I kept my mouth shut. Jack knew, he said, had known for ages the price of not knowing when to wait out your sentence to live another day. Asher didn’t listen.
The luck obsessed rabbits rarely did.
X

We've got 6 weeks in, and things are starting to take shape.
Before the season started, I did a mildly popular [Dynasty 2020 Rookie Stock Watch] (and at the request of the community, I'll be doing weekly updates!In case you missed last week, you can find week 1 [here], week 2 [here], week 3 [here], week 4 here, and week 5 here
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Before I get into the report, I want to again remind you a little bit of how my methodology works - when I look at whom I consider to be the biggest risers and fallers, I put a few things into that determination:
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• 1. I consider where I would now draft this player in a rookie draft. Dropping 2 spots from 20 to 22 is a lot less significant than dropping from 4 to 5. The former represents a 10% value drop where the latter represents a 25% value drop. Even dropping from "in the conversation for 1.01" to "clearly 2 with no case at all for 1" is a more significant drop than 2-3 spots in the second round.
• 2. When I try to determine if a player has fallen, I like to weigh what some of the perceptions were on that player's upside, and if any of those perceptions appear to no longer be true or at least need to be tempered.
• 3. We absolutely need to weigh in what has changed with the likelihood of rookie-year opportunity. A huge factor in the value of rookies is this question: "What will they be worth before the 2021 season?" - and that question absolutely is impacted by volume and opportunity in year 1.
• 4. Just because I have someone as a riser or faller doesn't mean I think you should buy/sell them at bad value. It's the same concept as stocks - if you believe in the fundamentals of the company you invested in, you don't sell off after a bad week. Similarly, after a stock skyrockets is not usually the best time to buy in - you'd want to wait for a brief regression before that.
• 5. Like Matthew Berry has said - just because a guy is on my faller list doesn't mean I like them less than a guy on my riser list. This is just my evaluation of their value relative to where it was before this week. These are really just ****feel takes**** and will ebb and flow as the season goes on. Looking at the fluidity of my rankings should make that obvious.

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So lets dive in!
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Biggest Week 6 risers:

3 way tie for #1!

• 1a. Clyde Edwards-Helaire. Talk about eating crow! Last week's #1 faller is this week's #1 riser. How is that? Because any narrative about Bell taking his place took a significant hit with Clyde's Monday "afternoon" performance. CEH showed that in rain (and likely snow) - he can be depended on to shoulder the load. He had a TD called back, but otherwise dominated the Bills and allowed the Chiefs to shorten their time out in the rain. This is the sort of performance that solidifies the FO's confidence in CEH, and makes it much more likely that the 2021 handcuff will be Damien returning from the Covid-opt out, and not a re-signing of Bell.
• 1b. D'Andre Swift. Just as impressive as CEH, Swift's game came on the heels of rumors that Lions Coach Matt Patricia was on the verge of being fired if Detroit fell to the Jaguars. While Swift owners may have been calling for Patricia's head for weeks now, they should take some solace in this thought: With his career on the line, Patricia was bailed out by Swift's impressive breakout performance. That ought to give Patricia confidence and the motivation needed to give Swift 15+ touches from here on out.
• 1c. Justin Jefferson. Another huge game for the Minnesota rookie has him skyrocketing on the boards. In this case, it is less that Jefferson will actually go up in my rankings, especially since CEH needs to be restored to prominence. Instead, this designation is more a reflection that JJeff has really expanded the gap between him and those below him, and solidified himself as a top 2 WR of the class for now.
• 4. Tee Higgins. Since his elevation to clear top-3 WR (for the Bengals) in week 3, Higgins has averaged 16 points a game, and Sunday saw his highest output yet. The growth and rapport-building that Higgins is showing with Joe Burrow will absolutely pay off long-run. AJ Green and John Ross seem to be likely to be in new colors come 2021, and if that is the case, don't be surprised if it is Higgins, not Boyd, that ascends to WR1 by 2022.
• 5. Tua Tagovailoa. How does a guy make the list after only playing 3 snaps? By completing both of his passes and being declared the starter from here on out. Tua's got a great mentor in Fitzmagic - a Harvard grad and guy who called for a standing ovation when his replacement finally took the field - and he's got a cast of young talent that is going to be exciting to watch for years to come. This causes him to be a riser because the situation looks good and he's going to get even more year 1 reps than anticipated.

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Biggest Week 6 fallers:

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• 1. Cam Akers. There's no way to sugarcoat Akers week 6 performance. It was simply a non-existent afterthought. That's terrible news for the rookie. On the flipside, the Rams looked terrible the whole game, so its also a bad idea to read so much into Akers not getting a single touch, and only 1 snap. However, Henderson has continued to look competent in the lead role, and the Rams DID invest a 2019 3rd in him. As a result, I'm absolutely looking at Akers from two angles: He's worth a gamble if he can be bought at a discount, and owners should ABSOLUTELY explore sell options if someone's willing to pay full or near-full price. As always - don't lock in an obvious loss on a sale.
• 2. Brandon Aiyuk. This is largely related to the return of Deebo, and the fact that the two WRs appear to be used in a somewhat redundant fashion. That's problematic, and was a factor in my initial Aiyuk concerns: how will a run-first team support two WR assets that seemed likely to be used in the same way? I definitely have seen enough to know he's talented. I'm just going to be slightly down on him until I can confidently see that Aiyuk and Deebo can both thrive at the same time. Otherwise this might become a tandem that is more hit-and-miss where one of the two will be on and the other will be off in any given week.
• 3. Laviska Shenault. This is more related to him having his first dud output than anything else. There will be up and down weeks with this team as a whole, but you'd like to see Shenault's floor a bit higher, especially in a game where the flow suggests more usage. The targets were there, the yards weren't. Not a long-term concern, but worth watching.
• 4. JK Dobbins. He could just as easily be a big riser very soon, lets start with that. However, he was not efficient with his touches (in fairness, he was more efficient than the Gus bus) after Ingram went down. Either way, a paltry 3.1 yard average was not what we wanted to see when JK got an opportunity for an increased load. This is likely nothing more than a blip, but when rankings are an ebb-and-flow feel for me, a down performance will land you on the faller list.
• 5. Jalen Reagor. Someone please wake me up and tell me that Jalen is really playing and just wearing a Fulgham jersey. I feel like ages have passed since Reagor played. The longer he goes without playing, the more the legend of Fulgham gets a chance to grow, and the less likely Reagor becomes the obvious "there's no one else to throw to" answer. Can't wait to see how things look when he returns.

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How I rank them right now

(in 1QB, but I will include where I would bump the QBs up to in 2QB)
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01 Clyde Edwards-Helaire
02 Jonathan Taylor
03 D'Andre Swift
04 CeeDee Lamb
05 Justin Jefferson
06 JK Dobbins
07 Jerry Jeudy
08 Tee Higgins
09 Antonio Gibson
10 Henry Ruggs III
11 Chase Claypool
12 James Robinson
13 Cam Akers
14 Jalen Reagor
15 Laviska Shenault Jr.
16 Joe Burrow (1.01 in 2QB/SF)
17 Justin Herbert (7 in 2QB, before Tua)
18 Brandon Aiyuk
19 Tua Tagovailoa (8 in 2QB, before Dobbins)
20 Michael Pittman Jr
21 Bryan Edwards
22 Denzel Mims
23 AJ Dillon
24 Zach Moss
25 Ke'Shawn Vaughn
26 La'Mical Perine
27 Gabriel Davis
28 Darnell Mooney
29 KJ Hamler
30 Devin Duvernay
31 Joshua Kelley
32 JaMycal Hasty
33 Van Jefferson
34 Tyler Johnson
35 Darrynton Evans
36 Quintez Cephus
37 Collin Johnson
38 Anthony McFarland Jr
39 Jordan Love (late 2nd in SF)
40 Antonio Gandy-Golden
41 Deejay Dallas
TE Section (so no one asks why I have no TEs on here)
42 Cole Kmet (so no one asks why I have no TE's on here anymore!)
43 Harrison Bryant
44 Adam Trautman
45 Albert Okwuegbunam
Obligatory Kicker Shoutout:
46 Rodrigo Blankenship
More likely to end up in prison than starting for you in a Dynasty league:
47 Lynn Bowden Jr.
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Last word:
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As always, let me know what you think! I try to reply to each and every comment here. I love some good banter!
My hot take on CEH was immediately cooled by a powerful performance that should really solidify him as 1.01 in 1QB leagues. That's exactly the sort of "in the face of adversity" performance you want to see from a young guy. Back aboard the hype train. I was so wrong.
Dobbins and Akers are the 2 remaining Big-5 RBs that haven't broken out. Dobbins seems likely to be the next to have a breakout game, and once he does, he'll climb in the rankings. Akers I'm a lot more worried about. We've seen a glimpse of brilliance from him on his long run two weeks ago, but we're going to need to see more, soon. Until then, I'm going to prefer spending resources on rookies that are clearly playing well in the bigs (Higgins, Ruggs, Claypool, Robinson, etc).
I hope you folks continue to enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy reading your responses. Have a great week and drop me a message! :)

Looking ahead to the start of competition in NA as an outsider and someone who didn’t follow LCS too closely in 2020, there are two teams that it’s easy to get excited about. It’s the two teams that have the best on paper line-ups locked in. The top dogs. C9 and TL.
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For anyone who doesn't feel like sitting down with a nice cup of coffee and having a good time reading about the two best teams in NA, you can also watch my video about this topic:
https://youtu.be/YTDMBOZgiN4
Everbody else: Get comfy and let's go.
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Looking at TL first, paid by Steve is here to stay and has given TL a super-team of NA proportions:
In Top: Alphari, consistently one of Europe’s best Top laners (yes, OG finished 10th in summer but if you think that team performance defines individual performance, then get the fuck out of here). Alphari has a reasonably high skill ceiling and a high floor, making him a very consistent player, capable of filling the shoes left by Impact. He can perform under any circumstances, as shown in Origen in the 2020 LEC, which is an important skill to have in Top, since you will at times be left on your own, which is sometimes just dictated by the meta.
In the Jungle: Santorin, arguably the best jungler in the 2020 LCS. A meta-resistant player coming off his best split ever, he and PoE carried a roster with WildTurtle (in 2020!) and Solo (who faced a lot of criticism in 2020) to first place in regular season, 2nd in the play-offs, and a respectable finish at Worlds, including a victory against the LPL Giants, TOP esports.
In Mid: Jensen, may be NA’s best mid laner ever. The fact alone that even a majority of TSM fans are willing to discuss this subject tells you everything you need to know about Jensen: He’s a consistently high level Mid laner, period.
In Bot: Tactical, one of the best talents NA has produced in a long time. He showed a good performance in summer and at Worlds, and I think TL is the perfect place for him to grow into one of if not the best ADC from NA. Surrounded by experienced players and the best support in NA, CoreJJ, TL provides the perfect conditions to teach him how to play the game on a higher level, meaning not just to play his lane or his champ, but playing the map and into different win conditions.
In Support: The afore mentioned CoreJJ, a world champion and two time finalist, 4 time NA champion, basically one of the biggest winners in LoL esports history and always credited as one of the most crucial pieces to his teams. He has proven himself as the best support in NA in a winning team (2018/2019), as well as a losing one (2020). In 2020, he took a complete rookie in Tactical into his lane and led a team that finished 9th in spring to be the best in NA for a while, and to defeat every single team in their Worlds Group, including the eventual finalists in Suning.
In contrast to last year, TL got a slight upgrade in top, I would rate Alphari over Impact, but not by much. Both are very stable players but I believe Alphari won’t be as phased out in regular split as Impact can be at times, and he brings a bit more carry potential. Impact can of course carry, but he will mostly do it while still on tanks and bruisers, carrying with sick teamfight engages and superb zoning. Alphari, in addition to that, has the ability to hard stomp his lane opponent as well, which I expect to give TL a leg up in many LCS games. The upgrade in the Jungle is massive, if you ask me. Watching TL in 2020, it seemed to me that Broxah didn’t ever fit in with TL, until Worlds funnily enough. TL obviously performed well at Worlds, and Broxah had games where he actually looked good. But even at that same World Championship, Santorin outperformed him, and he did even more so over the two LCS 2020 Splits. Santorin will bring much more impact from the Jungle; he has proven that he can do so with multiple teams and rosters, not just one specific line-up as is the case for Broxah. Rounding out the picture, TL were able to retain their strong Mid and Bot lanes.
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Going over to C9, Jack, in contrast to past seasons and to his public reputation, has opened the bank account as well and splashed on the biggest signing in LoL esport history: Bringing Perkz, the best western player ever, to NA. What a bombshell! Around him, Jack has built a mix of veterans in Bot and up-and-coming rookies in Top and Jungle.
In Top: Fudge, a promising rookie from the late OPL, R.I.P. Fudge comes from C9’s academy and has shown promise both there and in his home region of Oceania, but he has yet to prove himself on the big stage.
In the Jungle: Blaber, who now has a year and a bit of professional play under his belt, and he has shown us what I think we can reasonably expect as his upper and lower bound to his performance: dominance in the first half of 2020, but falling apart in the later half.
In Bot: Zven, who has been among the best ADCs in the west for a couple of years now, except for his two year stint on TSM, that didn’t exactly go his way. Zven has played with Perkz on G2 for 1.5 years already, when the two won three LEC championships together.
In Support: Vulcan, who has performed very well since coming into the LCS and he’s the last player that Jack strategically splurged on, like he now has on Perkz, securing himself the only good NA Support available at the time.
Since he’s really the only true unknown, at least to me before I started my research, let’s have a closer look at the man C9 let go of Licorice for: Fudge. He started his career in 2018 in the Oceania Challenger Series, when his team, Intuition, went 13-0. No other player of that team has been picked up to play abroad since. Interestingly, Fudge only played 6 of their 13 games, because their coach was also the substitute Top laner, a weird situation for everyone involved, and he played himself more than half of the games. Nonetheless, Fudge went deathless 4 of those games, hard stomping some of the games he was given, while showing some rough edges in others. He then got picked up by Mammoth for the OPL Summer Split 2019, and took them from 5th place in spring to 1st in summer, while no other changes were made. Mammoth went to Worlds that year, but were eliminated in Play-Ins. In December of 2019, Fudge was picked up by the C9 Academy team, and played for them throughout 2020, winning both splits and placing first in both regular splits. Looking at his finishes only, his resume is impressive: An exit in the Worlds 2019 Play-In stage, a second place in the regular part of the OPL 2019 Summer Split and 1st place in every other competition. Still, he’s a complete unknown on the professional stage. Two caveats have to be made, when discussing Fudge and his step-up to the big league: As talented as he may be, that is not the only reason why he got to be C9’s starter for 2021. On Episode 21 of the Esports Salon hosted by Thorin, Jack explained that a lack of personal fit with the team was the reason why C9 somewhat surprisingly replaced Licorice at all. On a grander scale, Oceania also doesn’t count as an import region starting next year, which, if you consider C9 already has two imports from Europe, is the reason this roster move was even possible in the first place.
In contrast to their 2020 roster, I would say C9 have clearly upgraded in Mid. Moving from Nisqy to Perkz is a skill-for-skill net positive, and I think Perkz will be able to match the communication that C9’s old Mid-Jungle duo was known for, as well as teach Blaber some new tricks. For me, the question marks for C9 are in Top and Jungle. Licorice was a proven 8 or 9 out of 10 for NA, a pretty consistent player, always top 3, and we will have to see if Fudge can fill his shoes. Blaber has performed well in the spring split of 2020, but fell short of expectations in the summer. Whether these two step up or fall flat will determine C9’s performance in 2021.
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Putting both teams in contrast to each other, I think TL got the better team overall with the more consistent, meta-resistant players, but probably are also paying more. C9 allocated their budget mostly into Mid and got the high risk, high reward but cheaper players in Top and Jungle.
Running down the individual lanes, I am confident that Alphari will perform better than Fudge. He’s coming in with much more experience at this level, and while he probably has a much higher salary, the only upside I see for Fudge is that he might (emphasis on might!) have the higher skill cap. Same goes for the Jungle, as I think Santorin is the safe bet where Blaber is the gamble. Mid is where it gets much closer in my opinion. I would still rate Perkz over Jensen, but not as heavily as Top and Jungle. Both players are very well matched skill-for-skill, and its Perkz’ intangibles that tip the scales in his favour: his creativity in the game and his leadership on and off the rift. The Bot lanes are very evenly matched, I would favour C9 slightly in lane, and TL out of lane due to CoreJJ’s shot-calling.
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So far it’s been all sunshine and rainbows, veterans and promising talent. But this is NA after all, so let’s contrast these two rosters against the rest of the league, which isn’t half as exciting in its entirety.
Starting once again in the Top lane, we have a group of proven veterans in Alphari, Ssumday, and Licorice. All three are very stable players that have performed for a long time. On the other hand we have a couple of up-and-coming talents in Fudge, FakeGod, Revenge, and Niles. Between these two extremes, we have players like Huni, who is notoriously up and down in both level of performance and motivation, and Finn, whose acquisition by CLG puzzled me to say the least. Finn is neither a rookie with heaps of latent ability, nor one of the best, like Perkz, so using an import spot on him is the wrong decision in my book. And then you also have a couple of teams without a Top laner signed to their roster (EG, TSM) as well as a couple of former LCS players floating around in free agency (Impact, Hauntzer, V1per, Kumo, Solo, Ruin), none of whom would shake up the league too much.
In the Jungle, the picture hasn’t changed much since the last split. Sure, a couple of players wear new jerseys, but except for Josedeodo, Iconic and Xerxe, all faces are still the same. These three aren’t going to add a new tier to NA jungling in my opinion, and since Santorin has proven himself against most foes time and time again, I think he can do it again, especially with a better team around him than ever. Only one question remains: Can Blaber regain his form from spring and make the Jungle his playground again?
As opposed to the Jungle, a new tier might have been added to the Mid lane pool indeed. Much has been said about the legend that is Perkz, and Jensen is one of the best Mid laners from NA ever. No other player can step to these two. At least not consistently. PoE might do it when he’s at his best. Jiizuke might do it in lane, and that’s if hes even playing. Overall, no one plays on their level.
Coming down into the bot lane, Zven was arguably the best ADC in the LCS in 2020, and is basically guaranteed to be top3 again for my money, barring bombshell acquisitions by TSM, DIG and EG, who are still missing their starting Bot laner. Tactical will have to prove himself some more after his rookie split, but in 2020, he didn’t take any time to get going. If he can keep it up, or hopefully even improve on that level, he will be among the best ADCs in 2021 as well, since otherwise, it’s just the same old (WildTurtle, Stixxay, Apollo?), neither of which has particularly caught my eye in 2020, and up-and-coming, maybe slightly proven talents (FBI, Johnsun, Raes).
As for the Support role, both CoreJJ and Vulcan are really strong. Vulcan is slightly better in lane and not credited for major shot-calling like CoreJJ is, and maybe it’s better that way, because if you get the credit for your shot-calling, you also have to take the blame. With how C9s 2020 season ended, I don’t know if Vulcan would want that on his shot-calling resume. Outside of these two, Support is almost as underwhelming as ADC: The veterans are all proven to be middle of the pack with major flaws holding them back. Huhi isn’t good enough mechanically, Smoothie never got his big break through, Aphromoo is holding on but not in his prime, IgNar has to engage or else he’s useless, and Destiny was below average in EU. The only rays of sunshine through these heavy clouds are two up-comers, Diamond on FlyQuest and Newbie on the Golden Guardians, as well as TSM signing SwordArt, who comes to NA fresh off his Worlds Finals run.
On paper, neither players on TL nor C9 will stand out extremely strong, like Caps did in LEC Summer or Kaiser in LEC Spring, but TL have arguably the best player in 4/5 roles with a very promising rookie in 5th and C9 in 3/5 with gambles in top and jungle, where both players are well known to the organisation by their long stay with them through the Academy side.
​
The other teams have one or two positions where they come close or are even comparable, but never the entire roster:
100 Thieves have Ssumday and Closer, who are amongst the best in NA; but Damonte, FBI and huhi aren’t going to perform up to their counterparts, much less all three.
CLG have assembled a nightmare roster if you ask me, not even one hard carry to put the rest on his back. The best that can be said about CLG, is that Smoothie and Pob aren’t bad.
Dignitas still lack their ADC, but with Dardoch, Aphromoo, and especially Soligo, they aren’t off to a good start. One is perennially difficult to work with and hasn’t performed to his peak in ages, the other is washed up, and the third has been a lower level LCS mid laner every split he played. In Top, FakeGod will get another chance to prove himself after looking rather underwhelming on 100 Thieves and going back down to academy.
EG have Svenskeren, so they got that going for them. He is a good jungler for sure, but has cooled off from his career best 2019 on C9. Huni, Jiizuke and Ignar are wildly inconsistent, which doesn’t spell good things for this team in 2021.
FlyQuest have potential, but they have too much of it, if you ask me. Licorice is their rock in Top, that’s a good place to start, but they have to hope Palafox and Diamond actually come through, that Johnsun improves on his rookie season and that Josedeodo can be integrated into the team well. All three happening right in spring is unlikely, I doubt it even for summer.
GG is ALL potential, no tangible, even more so than FlyQuest.
Immortals are underwhelming: Xerxe and Destiny have gone from promising talents to middle of the pack players in EU or even worse in case of Destiny. Insanity was bottom tier in 2020 from what I have seen and heard, and Revenge and Raes are unproven. They also still have Apollo on the books, but he has shown that his ceiling is slightly above average at best.
TSM have some good pieces in Spica and PoE, but I think people are going to overhype SwordArt, who has just made it to the Worlds Finals, admittedly, but that was one of the biggest upset runs in LoL esports history. Looking at his level throughout 2020, he and Suning as a whole peaked at Worlds, and SwordArt is not the player he was three or four years ago in my opinion. With Doublelift retiring, TSM also have to find a new Bot laner or field Lost, their academy ADC in 2020, who hasn’t convinced me in his past outings in the LCS.
All in all, the LCS field in 2021 seems like a valley between two mountains to me, with a few hills sprinkled in for good measure. TL and C9 will be fighting each other for dominance over the NA region, and, to keep the metaphor alive longer than I should have, we will have to see which team’s peak will break through the clouds.
​
Thanks for reading to everyone who made it this far. If you like my content, go have a look at my YouTube channel and my Twitter, links below.
Until we meet again, farewell.
https://twitter.com/esportsIdaho
youtube.com/channel/UCAkGqCM7ET201HUn3s4_w3Q/videos

Earlier tonight, CDW hosted a conversation with Toni and Ahmad to mark the end of The Last Dance series, discuss their thoughts on the documentary, and share some of their favorite stories. The event lasted just over an hour and had a brief Q&A session at the end.
I figured some people here might find it interesting, so here's my best attempt at a recap. I had to paraphrase in some places to have any chance of keeping up with the conversation and I'm sure I wasn't able to capture everything.
The event started with a quick intro from the host, who talked briefly about CDW as a Chicago-area company that came of age in the 90s as the Bulls were dominating.
Ahmad came up first, and I expected him to talk on his own for a bit. Instead, he talked for about 20 seconds before declaring that Toni was the real star of the show and introduced him.
Ahmad: What got you into playing basketball?
Toni: I started by pure accident. The arena was 100 yards from where I lived, and my dad took me to a few basketball games. Back then I was a soccer player. When I was 15, the coach saw me and told me that I looked like a basketball player and basically forced me to play basketball. The other players were great guys and great players.
The coach's idea was that regardless of physical attributes, you needed to be good at all of the fundamentals of basketball - dribbling, shooting, passing, etc. We practiced 7-9 hours per day(!) Back in the day in Yugoslavia, there's no gap between school and sports - you were in school and those classmates were your teammates. We would practice from 7-9 AM, 9-11, break until 4 PM, then 4-6, 6-8 and 8-10. Those were normal days for the first 3 years.
Ahmad: Hakeem told me that one of the keys to his game was his footwork, which he got from soccer. Do you agree with that?
Toni: I totally agree with that. My first real sport as a kid was table tennis, and that's where I get a lot of my touch. I think table tennis and soccer (which I practiced 4 years) helped me a lot with basketball.
Ahmad: At one point did you think you had a chance to play in the NBA?
Toni: When we played junior worlds in Bormio Italy. We played on the Yugoslavian national team, and we'd often play against college teams in the US. Coach K from the US was good about bringing his college team to Europe, and Yugoslavia played the US twice (and won twice). That US team was very good - Gary Payton was on that team, Simmons, Williams, Larry Johnson. Once we beat them, we were always following that generation of players. We figured that if they're that good, going to get drafted, presumably be all-stars, etc - we thought that we actually had a chance to play in the NBA as well.
Ahmad: So you got your chance to play in the NBA, and not just any team - one of the best ever. How'd you feel about that?
Toni: We started thinking about that because scouts were watching us at the Seoul Olympics, and at other events. We (Yugoslavian players) were all drafted by really good basketball teams. When I was drafted by the Bulls, I wasn't 100% sure if I can go - I didn't know if I wanted to go to the Bulls and ride the bench. At the same time, after winning everything in Europe, I thought maybe I should go to the US and do that.
Ahmad: Michael told me that Toni was very confident as a rookie. MJ would tell him not to take a shot, but Toni would be totally confident that it would go in (and it would). Michael had tremendous respect for Toni because of that confidence.
Toni: That's really nice to hear. These days, you can see up and coming players when they're 12-13 years old. Back then, nobody (in the US) saw me play like I really played back in EuroLeague. Nobody on the Bulls knew how I played. In my 2nd and 3rd years I'd shoot a 3 and everyone would be like "no, don't do that" but it would go in and they'd be like "yeah! we need more of that" I think that confidence came from all of those games I played in Europe - in all of those finals, in the world championships.
Ahmad: You had this thing going against Jerry Krause - Scottie and Michael looked like they didn't want you to even dribble the ball (in the 1992 Olympics). They appeared upset at Krause, but they seemed like they wanted to take it out on you. When you came back (with a better performance) in the next game in the Olympics, you got a lot of respect for that.
Toni: I didn't know about all that stuff at the time, I only found out about all of that 20 years later. I saw them as my future teammates, so I expected a friendly experience but had no idea what was going on inside of the Bulls organization. I had a horrible (first) game. Being guarded by Michael and Scottie, I don't think many players would do much better. The 2nd game, I was more prepared. Some stuff happened during the Olympics that I'm not going to talk about, it's not important, but I just focused on doing things right, moving the ball, shooting and had a better game.
(I missed what Ahmad said here because my wife asked why I was frantically typing up so many questions to ask during Q&A and I had to explain that I was instead typing everything they said so I could share it with Reddit)
Toni: We wanted to go as deep as possible in the Olympics - the war in Yugoslavia was going on. (He didn't elaborate on this much but it was clear that it was a matter of personal and national pride for the players on the team)
Ahmad: Fast forward, you get to Chicago. Were you surprised about how Phil Jackson ran the organization? Well - not surprised, but you guys had a lot of different personalities. That was a group of men that was weird and Phil did a great job managing all of them.
Toni: I agree with that statement. Phil tried to see every individual, to get into the personalities of the people and treat them accordingly. The famous thing about him was giving out different books to the people. With me, because the war was going on, he tried to read some books so we could talk about something other than basketball. The first time on the West coast, he gave me a comic book and it was just pictures. I was like "I don't get it". and Phil was like "I don't know about your English - if you can't speak it, you can't read it." Later on we talked about the war, about different religions, and I guess he did something like that with every player. All players - even the 12th guy on the team.
Ahmad: What book did he give Rodman?
Toni: I don't know what he gave him, and I don't know if Dennis read them.
Ahmad: (when Dennis acted out) Phil put all the onus on Dennis because he let everyone down. Phil made him feel like he had let you guys down, and he felt bad about that. And the next game - I think he had 20 rebounds in that game. It was wonderful to watch how Phil did that with players.
Toni: Dennis is very shy when he is Dennis. When he's the other person that goes to parties, etc - that's a different person. But this Dennis was shy - and when he would do something, Phil was there to explain how Dennis feels, and then Dennis just said like "yeah, my bad". He gave him a way to say "I totally messed up and I won't do it again". Because Dennis couldn't say those things to us.
Ahmad: I read somewhere that you said that your time with the Bulls was the best time of your career
Toni: Absolutely, I wouldn't change a thing about it. It was awesome from the first day, although it didn't start that well because my decision to come to the Bulls was about coming to play with MJ and hopefully win a championship - but that first day I was with the Bulls, he announced his retirement. But that gave me a chance to play more minutes and get more experience right away. When he came back, there was that feeling that we could have a chance of winning a championship. It was just fun every single day. We worked hard but we had a good time, knew when to laugh, knew to do things the right way, it was absolute fun and I would not change anything about it.
Ahmad: You said that Scottie helped you a lot early on - tell me about that
Toni: Yeah - sometimes he would say something in the media, but I think he was really saying it about Jerry or the organization. If I felt it was at me personally, I'd react differently. During the games and practices, he's so unselfish and he wants to be a great teammate and help you learn the game and learn the NBA style of basketball. He helped me when I need to box out someone 30-40 pounds heavier, etc. You always feel like he's close and always willing to help and that's why I love him as a teammate.
Ahmad: Michael says the same thing about Scottie. I don't know if everyone was able to see that in the documentary. A lot of people don't know what professional sports is about and some things said in the locker room come off rough, but it's said to try to get everyone together to try to win. 20 years later, everyone likes each other and respects each other. (What Ahmad said here is paraphrased, not exact)
Toni: Yeah, it was all about making you a better player. Our coaches said "when I yell at you and curse at you, that's only because I want you to be a better player. When I stop doing that, then I gave up on you and that's it." So I think that (rough locker talk) is a way to encourage each other to get you on their level.
Ahmad: It seems like the guys who can't take that don't make it to that level. The ones that can - and give it - they make it to that level
Toni: It's that natural selection. If you're not accepted there, one by one you're gonna realize you're not part of the team anymore. Thank God I never had that experience.
Ahmad: what did you think when you found out this was going to be the last year? How do you rally around that? That's when you see how strong Michael was, like 'HEY - we're playing to WIN'. I don't remember anyone talking about it!
Toni: I can honestly say that I didn't know those words were said between Jerry and Phil (The 82-0 comment). Phil that year just kept the players in a bubble and we were a team - we didn't talk about that at all, we had a goal in mind to win a championship, and we'll see what happens after the year. Being from Europe, I thought this was just "United States talk" - they're going to calm down after the season, they're going to talk, they're going to realize we can win another. But that never happened.
I couldn't see that would happen - that someone would decide, or Phil would go, or Michael would quit, or Jerry would not bring everyone back if we won a championship. I would understand if we lost to Indiana - we're old, injuries, etc. I don't think anyone saw the reason for that.
Some things I would like to hear from Jerry Krause, what his side of the story is, but since he's not here, I don't know. But being from Europe, I just thought "that's how it's going to be".
Ahmad: I just could not figure it out - having been an athlete myself, knowing what it takes to get to the championship level. To throw that out, I didn't get it. You play until you lose.
Toni: I feel the same - I felt like after we won, the right people are going to sit together and figure out how to get us together for another year.
Ahmad: tell me about the 'last dance' (not the documentary, but the reality that this was their last season together) - that subject never came up during the playoffs? They had that other coach to take Phil's place next year (Tim Floyd), he was around - that was never discussed?
Toni: I didn't really notice him until next year when he was the coach. To me, he wasn't a part of the Bulls back then. I don't remember ever seeing him in meetings before that next year.
Ahmad: You were such a travelling road show - you were like the Beatles - how weird was that?
Toni: It was different, especially for me. But I just thought there were Bulls fans everywhere. Regardless of where we played, we had people waiting for us in the hotel. Sometimes at 2-3 AM, there would be 400 people in front of the hotel, even parents and children. We'd ask "doesn't the kid have school?" and the dad would say "it's not me, it's the kid who wants to be here". It was for me - nice but crazy - that someone appreciated us that much that they'd stay until 3 AM. They'd say "we don't have tickets for tonight but we really appreciate you and everything you're doing."
Ahmad: I would see that as an inspiration
Toni: 62-63000 people in Atlanta, and at least 40000 of them were Bulls fans - it was our last time there. Even in NY, which was a hostile - the worst place to play - you can hear literally anything. Even there, in a werid way, were respected too. I have a lot of Croatian friends in NY who say "I hated your guys back then but I really loved how you played"
Ahmad: What was your thought process in Utah in game 6 (1998) when Scottie had hurt his back?
Toni: They told us before the game that Scottie has hurt his back and we don't know if he can play. It is so deep into the playoffs, the series, that there's no reason at that time to look back or be sorry about stuff. You just go out and play as hard as you can and if you come out on top then it's great and if not then there's another game tomorrow.
Ahmad: But nobody wanted to play tomorrow.
Toni: That previous series we played 7 games and nobody liked it. We had a chance to win 4-1 or 4-2 but we missed some free throws, had some not so good decisions in late games. We could have won games 3 and 6 - by the time we get to 7, you can throw all of that out and you pray to God that the shots go in and after 48 minutes you won.
Ahmad: Game 5 (Finals), you were on fire - you had a great game. Going into the next game you had to feel good. The question is not 'are you hurt?' the question is 'can you play?'
Toni: Scottie really showed his heart. He was struggling to walk in the locker room. He needed treatment and massages for 5 minutes so he can play 5 minutes. If that's regular season, he's out for a couple weeks at least. He was a warrior that game.
Ahmad: All of that talk of him being soft went out the window then
Toni: I don't know Scottie as well as Michael does, but he wouldn't be the Scottie Pippen that won 6 championships (if he were soft) - I don't know how he never got DPOY, he always played both ways, he gave himself to the team, passed the ball to the right person at the right time, he was all heart. Every once in a while you have a bad day, but this professional sports, that happens to everyone. If people want to bring out 2 times out of 15 years in the NBA and hold a grudge against Scottie for that, I don't think that's right.
Ahmad: Yeah, he was also one of the greatest team players we've ever seen
Toni: Absolutely agree with that
Ahmad: Afterwards, there was a celebration, but did you know the team was going to be split up?
Toni: in the locker room it was all cigars and champagne. We were all exhausted but there was a sense of accomplishment. We didn't talk bout that - that kinda came in once we got home, had that last meeting - that last dinner together that people were saying things about each other - what we liked, what we'll miss, then it sinks in and everyone feels sad and everyone wants to leave. It was a little bitter, not happy about it, but what can you do about it?
Ahmad: Wasn't there a toast at a dinner towards the end where everyone had to give a toast?
Toni: I don't remember that well - maybe I had too much to drink. It was a great group of guys to this day you talk about to your friends. You mention those days, those little things when we went on the road, the dinners we went to, these crazy places. We'd go to this little dive-in place in these cities where nobody knew about and just 4-5-6 of us would go and have a good time and small talk.
Ahmad: That was the closest-knit group I've seen. From the last guy to the top guy on that team, you guys were together. I know how important a coach is. He (Phil) sets the whole atmosphere. You guys were winners - and 4-5 of those guys on the bench made key plays and it was a well-run machine. You didn't have 12 Hall of Famers but all your guys came together.
Toni: Yes, absolutely right - Phil would mention this - we are as strong as our weakest link. But nobody in that team wanted to be that weakest link. And with the guidance of MJ and Scottie - and if those guys play 40 minutes and then come to the next day's practice and give 100%, how can a guy who plays 20 mpg not also give 100%?
Our practices were harder than 60% of the games we played. There are plenty of times we'd be losing a game and then Randy Brown would come in the game and press the ball and we'd turn it around. Jud Buechler would come in and hit some unbelievable shots, or someone else would come in 5-10 minutes and play a big role.
Ahmad: Why did Phil Jackson let me go everywhere - locker room, training room, etc?
Toni: I don't really know. I don't think he cared much, he wasn't one of those coaches that has a ton of rules, etc. He knew you were Michael's friend and you wouldn't be the one would spread rumors outside of the locker room.
Ahmad: What's the weirdest thing you've seen Rodman do?
Toni: Oh, I can't say that here. I would...go to bed at 8 PM so I never really saw any of that stuff. Dennis was close to Scottie when it comes to being the ultimate teammate. He sacrificed a lot of offense to be that great defender, great rebounder. It was fun going out with Dennis and partying, but I couldn't handle it. I had to be on a milk and water diet for 2 weeks afterwards.
Ahmad: He was worth the price of admission - he played so hard
Toni: His BBIQ is awesome, he understood the triangle offense way better than people think. He knew where he needs to run, how to fill up the spots - I loved playing with Dennis.
Ahmad: This has been so much fun - these are just wonderful wonderful memories. I have seen MJ with each and every one of those teammates, and he lights up when he sees you guys. If you watch The Last Dance you'd think he barely you knows those guys - but he appreciates you all.
Toni: We don't talk every day, but we talk - 10 minutes before just now, Steve Kerr texted me. Every once a while I run into Luc. It's fun, we reminisce about those things. It feels like you're seeing a brother again.
Ahmad: I hope people got the camaraderie from The Last Dance - I hope you saw that. They won as a team.
Toni: That's the only way to do things right. It's what, 20 years ago? I'm watching it like "is that me?" I'm watching myself on TV and I'm like "how lucky are those guys" and then I'm like "oh that was actually me". My kids watched it and they understood and they and their friends are texting like "dad, you did this amazing thing".
Then it was time for the Q&A session:
Q1: Who is the best team of all time? I know that's dangerous territory, but what do you think?
Ahmad: I think the Chicago Bulls were the best team I've ever seen. They expected to win every night, they were always prepared, they had one of the greatest coaches of all time. Of course he had Michael, but he didn't play by himself.
Q2: Ahmad, what was your favorite moment as a Viking?
Ahmad: Whoever asked that question is awesome. The Hail Mary game vs Cleveland that we won.
Q3: What do you think LeBron has to do to catch Michael in the GOAT conversation?
Ahmad: It's impossible to compare eras in the NBA. You can not compare eras. Michael and LeBron are never going to play 1 on 1. LeBron is also still playing. So you wait until his whole body of work is done and you set it against Michael's body of work that's done and you'll see. Right now, Michael is the best I've ever seen.
Q4: Who wins at golf, you or Michael?
Ahmad: We play even (pahandicap), and the rest of the day is better if he wins. If I win, there aren't many laughs.
Q5: How about you and Toni:
Ahmad: we only played once, but we had FUN! Neither of us are pros, but we have good company. Golf is fun to play, it's a recreational sport. It doesn't matter what you shoot...unless you're gambling in which case it does matter.
Q6: Where's your least favorite place to play? NYC? (This was my favorite answer of Toni's and I bolded the best parts)
Toni: It's the most hostile place to play - you're gonna hear the boos, people trying to stab you with things (verbally), like for me it was "communist guy, mother, sister, etc". But at the same time, I love to go to places like that. Europe is different. Here, if someone says something, I think you should be able to handle it. In Europe, we'd get hit with coins, bottles of wine, etc. But here, I didn't really care if someone said something here. The places I really didn't want to play are like New Jersey, Indiana, Minnesota - they call Indianapolis 'Naptown' but those cities are 'nap towns' to me because there was nothing to do until game time.
Ahmad: But in NYC there were a lot of Croatians there too.
Toni: We stayed at the Plaza in New York and the manager was Croatian, and she gave me the best room, she was sending me to the best Italian restaurants, etc - it was great
Q7: When you moved to Chicago, what surprised you the most about the city?
Toni: Snow scared the hell out of me. I'd never seen snow before I got to Chicago. I think my first or second year was the coldest winter ever and I thought 'how am I going to live here?' Croatia never snows. The lowest it gets is the low 40s. When I got to Chicago, I said "this is gonna kill me". When you get to Chicago, you tell yourself you start at zero, you gotta prove yourself, you gotta earn it. So I knew that's gonna be hard as a rookie. (Toni also talked about carrying bags as a rookie but I didn't catch exactly how he said it before they moved on)
Q8: Who's the basketball player that nobody remembers?
Toni: I'll say (Ron) Harper. The year Michael came back, he got himself in really good shape and did a tremendous job for us - guarding, running the floor, running the offense. He dedicated himself to doing what what we needed as a team.
Ahmad: I was going to say Ron too. Ron Harper was one of the most talented players I've ever seen. He was great when he first got into the league. To watch him fit in where he could - he was a great piece on that Bulls team - he could really play. First couple years in the league - before his injury - he was great.
The event ended with Ahmad telling Toni to come see him and bring his golf clubs.

ATLANTA HAWKS

• Josh Smith Claims He Once Saw Hawk Carry Away Basketball In Talons
  
• Spud Webb Getting Smaller And Smaller Every Time People Recount 1986 Dunk Contest
  
• Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name
  
• Christ Returns to NBA
  

BOSTON CELTICS

• Kendrick Perkins Under Assumption He's One Of Celtics' 'Big Three'
  
• Celtics: 'That Was A Reasonable Amount Of Time To Be In The Playoffs'
  
• Gordon Hayward Confident He Still Has His Most Gruesome Injuries Ahead Of Him
  
• Kyrie Irving Promises Celtics He Won’t Quit On Whatever Team He Signs With This Offseason
  
• Dominant Kevin Garnett: 'This Is My House! This Is Where I Eat And Sleep Every Night!'
  

BROOKLYN/NEW JERSEY NETS

• Jason Kidd Demands Trade To Peanutopolis
  
• Kevin Garnett Mostly Just Pounding Chest To Keep Heart Going At This Point
  
• Vince Carter Hires On-Court Assistant
  
• Brooklyn Nets Insist They Only See Jason Collins As Terrible Player
  
• Getting To Know New Nets Owner Mikhail Prokhorov
  

CHARLOTTE HORNETS/BOBCATS

• Charlotte Bobcats Get Lost While Driving To Basket
  
• Coach Pretty Sure Heated Locker Room Dispute Over Unpaid Gambling Debts Will Work Itself Out
  
• Michael Jordan Hires Patrick Ewing As Bobcats Assistant Coach To Watch Him Lose More
  
• Bombastic Team Introduction Scares Timid Charlotte Bobcats Back Into Locker Room
  
• Charlotte Bobcats Still Practicing For Some Reason
  

CHICAGO BULLS

• Joakim Noah Gets Some Ugly But Gutsy Yard Work Done Over The Weekend
  
• Bulls Players Annoyed By Derrick Rose Always Leaving Torn Ligaments All Over Locker Room
  
• How Many Games Will The Chicago Bulls Attend This Season?
  
• Bulls Blow NBA Draft Lottery Win On More NBA Draft Lottery Tickets
  
• NBA Cares Program Sends Chicago Bulls Players To Spend Time At Hospital Visiting Derrick Rose
  

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

• Excited, Nervous J.R. Smith Unable To Sleep Through David Blatt’s Pregame Speech
  
• LeBron James Credits Teammates With Providing 4 Bodies Necessary To Avoid Forfeiture Against Pacers
  
• Report: John Calipari Offered Cavaliers $20 Million To Leave Him Alone
  
• Confident J.R. Smith Reveals He Knew Exactly What Score Was At End Of Game 2
  
• Mike Brown Feels Cavs Are Being Outvictoried
  
• Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich
  

DALLAS MAVERICKS

• Mavericks Retire Dirk Nowitzki’s Jersey Fully Unaware He Still On Team
  
• Dirk Nowitzki Shatters Backboard Glass With Powerful Soprano Singing Voice
  
• Mavericks: Winning Championship For Jason Kidd Not Really A Factor In Wanting NBA Title
  
• Mavericks To Incorporate Machetes Into Hack-A-Shaq Defense
  
• Ball Movement Making Dirk Nowitzki Nauseous
  

DENVER NUGGETS

• Carmelo Anthony Called For Traveling Back In Time
  
• Denver Nuggets Worried They Screwed Up Attempt To Tank For Zion Williamson
  
• Nuggets Tell Dying George Karl They Made NBA Finals
  
• Carmelo Anthony Considers Himself The Nuggets' Dipping Sauce
  
• Carmelo Anthony Scores 36 Points While Rest Of Players Watch NFL Playoffs
  

DETROIT PISTONS

• Pistons Lose To Elementary School Girls Team After Big Night From 4'9" Center
  
• Detroit Pistons JumboTron Not Even Trying Anymore
  
• NBA Names New Foul After Rasheed Wallace
  
• Joe Dumars Resigns To Spend More Time Rebuilding Family
  
• Pistons Discover Allen Iverson Does Not Like To Be Thrown From Moving Car
  
• Rasheed Wallace Has Greatest Dream Where He Uses Headband As Basketball Slingshot And Scores A Million Points
  

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

• Steph Curry Loudly Chewing On Huge Wad Of Mouthguards
  
• Warriors Wear L3 Patch To Honor Steve Kerr’s Departed Vertebrae
  
• Dedicated Warriors Fan Contends He Was Obnoxious Asshole Long Before Team Got Good
  
• Warriors GM Bob Myers Announces Kevin Durant Tore Achilles, Clears Him To Play Game 6
  
• Draymond Green Able To List From Memory Every Player Drafted Before Him In NBA History
  
• NBA Commentators Confirm Steve Kerr Not Enough Of An Insufferable Prick To Be Considered All-Time Great Coach
  

HOUSTON ROCKETS

• James Harden Pretty Sure He Felt Something Pop In Lower Beard
  
• Rockets’ Mop Guy Can Tell This Game Going To Be A Sweaty One
  
• James Harden Dreading Long 15-Minute Walk To Get Back On Defense
  
• Nenê Wins NBA’s Tenth Man Of The Year Award
  
• James Harden: ‘I Just Want A Fair Shot Where I Can Get A Foul Called On Every Play’
  
• Russell Westbrook Quietly Asks Rockets Team Doctor If He Needs To Make Free Throw To Pass Physical
  

INDIANA PACERS

• Injured Pacer Eddie Gill Wins NBA's 12th Man Award
  
• Will The Pacers Ever Be Able To Return To The Glory Of Their 2004 Brawl With Fans?
  
• Indiana Pacers Feel Stupid For Believing In Themselves
  
• Miami Heat Unprepared For Chainsaw-Wielding Pacers
  
• Fan Wishes Team Was Sponsored By A Cooler Corporation
  

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

• Clippers Ask Everyone To Keep It Down While They Rest Kawhi Leonard
  
• Steve Ballmer Rewards Playoff-Bound Clippers With Complimentary Microsoft Office Upgrades
  
• Blake Griffin Caught Plagiarizing Dunks
  
• Marcus Camby Caught Hacking NBA Computer To Change Clippers Power Ranking
  
• Kawhi Leonard Worried He’s Succumbing To Glitzy L.A. Lifestyle After Purchasing Flashy 2016 Subaru
  

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

• Pau Gasol Googles 'Lakers + Celtics + Rivalry'
  
• Luke Walton Inspires Lakers With Story About Zero-Point, 2-Rebound Performance In Game 2 Of 2009 Finals
  
• Cool New Lakers Coach Doesn't Make Team Play Defense
  
• Kobe Bryant Proves He Can Win Championship With Luke Walton On Team
  
• Depressed LeBron James Realizes That At His Age Copernicus Was Developing Theory Of Heliocentrism
  

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

• Memphis Grizzlies Ask For Two Weeks Off To Practice
  
• Grizzlies Annoyed They Went To Bed Instead Of Watching Clippers Improbable Comeback
  
• Memphis Grizzlies Continue To Insist They Have 5 Players Better Than Allen Iverson
  

MIAMI HEAT

• Miami Heat Don’t Have Heart To Tell Devoted Fans They Lost NBA Finals
  
• Miami Heat Confident They Have The Right Officiating To Triumph Over Pacers
  
• Erik Spoelstra Under Impression Big 3 Will Take Pay Cut To Keep Playing Under Him
  
• Miami Heat Defeat Nation's Basketball Fans To Win NBA Championship
  
• Miami Heat Spend First Two Weeks Of Training Camp Practicing Pregame Introductions
  

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

• Giannis Antetokounmpo To Take Off Next 3 Seasons With Standard European Paternity Leave
  
• Giannis Antetokounmpo Credits Success To Early Days Playing Against Greek Gods
  
• Milwaukee Fans Urge Bucks To Stop Blocking View Of Miami Heat
  
• Bradley Center Moves Milwaukee Bucks Game To Basement
  
• Confused Milwaukee Bucks Have No Idea What To Do After Rebounding Basketball
  

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

• Jimmy Butler Gives Wolves List Of 29 Preferred Trade Destinations
  
• Sheepish Timberwolves Fire Placekicker
  
• Timberwolves Fire Clerk On Accounts Receivable Team In First Step Towards Turning Franchise Around
  
• Timberwolves’ Arena Staff Cleaning Up During Third Quarter So They Can Go Home Right At Buzzer
  
• Timberwolves Beat Writer Running Out Of Ways To Say 'Defeated By'
  

NEW ORLEANS PELICANS/HORNETS

• Zion Williamson Excited To Play For Team With Proven History Of Frittering Away Generational Talents
  
• Pelicans Doctors Recommend Zion Williamson Drop Some Height To Lessen Stress On Injured Knee
  
• Honest Chris Paul Says New Orleans Hornets Fans The 16th Best In World
  
• Anthony Davis' Unibrow Now Wrapping Completely Around Head
  
• Peja Stojakovic Fondly Recalls First Human Head He Played Basketball With
  

NEW YORK KNICKS

• Knicks Confident They Have The Cap Space To Ruin 2 Or 3 Promising Careers
  
• Isiah Thomas: 'My Time With The Knicks Was Actually A Large-Scale Psychological Study Of New York Residents'
  
• Larry Brown Promises Knicks Will Make Playoffs In Some League
  
• Knicks Management Puzzled As To Why Chauncey Billups Wants To Return
  
• Knicks Front Office Scrambling After Zion Williamson Drafted Before 3rd Pick
  

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

• Kevin Durant: ‘Deep Down, I’ll Always Be A Free Agent At Heart’
  
• Dedicated Russell Westbrook Stays Late After Practice To Miss 100 Extra Shots
  
• Oklahoma City Thunder Wander Town Aimlessly Looking For Place To Celebrate Big Win
  
• Russell Westbrook Briefly Forgets How To Dribble After Thinking About It Too Hard
  
• Frustrated Kevin Durant Realizes He Forgot To Write-Off Several Dunks On Taxes
  

ORLANDO MAGIC

• Suspicious-Looking Duffel Bag Spotted On Magic Bench Just Glen Davis
  
• Orlando Assistant Coach Patrick Ewing Counsels Dwight Howard On How To Lose NBA Title
  
• Dwight Howard Tells Reporters He's Very Unhappy In Milky Way Galaxy
  
• Magic Game Plan To Out-Basketball Cavaliers
  
• Coach Has Difficulty Describing What Sort Of Win That Was
  

PHOENIX SUNS

• Commentator Charles Barkley Objects To Hall Of Fame Induction Of Suns Forward Charles Barkley
  
• Amar'e Stoudemire Still Trying To Find Out Where He Was Traded To
  
• Shaq Finds Mysterious Inscriptions Written On Basketball
  
• Steve Nash Calls Second Consecutive MVP Award 'Some Kind Of Sick Joke'
  
• Phoenix Suns Gorilla Involved In Altercation At Glendale-Area Gentlemen’s Club
  

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

• Embarrassed Ben Simmons Retracts Criticism Of Sixers After Remembering He On Team
  
• Joel Embiid To Undergo Career-Starting Surgery
  
• Injured Andrew Bynum Starting To Wonder If He’ll Ever Waste His Talent Again
  
• 76ers Hoping Joel Embiid Can Return To Pre-NBA Form
  
• 76ers Afraid To Kick Bunch Of Tough-Looking Guys Off Practice Court
  

PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS

• Unsettling Basketball Article Praises Portland Trail Blazers’ Young, Voluptuous Talent
  
• Brandon Roy Finally Invests In Home Arthroscopic Surgery Kit
  
• Promise Of Hot Meal, Free Uniform All Juwan Howard Needed To Sign With Blazers
  
• Careless Blazers Goofing Around With Basketball Shatter Greg Oden Into Thousand Pieces
  
• Trail Blazers Down To One Working Knee
  

SACRAMENTO KINGS

• Sacramento Kings Perfectly Execute Throw-Ball-Out-Of-Bounds Play
  
• Sacramento Pledges To Power Arena With 100% Windmill Dunk Energy By 2030
  
• DeMarcus Cousins Worried He Might Have Locker Room Cancer
  

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

• Spurs Unveil Statue Of Tim Duncan Recycling
  
• Gregg Popovich Admits Winning Championship This Year Would Mean About The Same As Previous Titles
  
• Tim Duncan Sends Teammates Google+ Invitations For Fifth Consecutive Day
  
• Gregg Popovich Berates Spurs For Missing Nation’s Descent Into Oligarchy
  
• Tim Duncan Offers Legal Advice To Wife’s Divorce Lawyer
  

TORONTO RAPTORS

• NBA Championship Victory Easily Takes Its Place Among Top 10 Moments In Toronto Raptors History
  
• NBA Rookie Still Struggling To Grasp Concept Of 'Out Of Bounds'
  
• Toronto Raptors Think Of Really Good Comeback 10 Minutes After Losing Game
  
• Adam Morrison Successfully Misses Easy Layups During Workout For Raptors
  
• NBA Requests Fans Sitting Courtside Not Release Derivative Albums
  

UTAH JAZZ

• Report: Majority Of Utah Jazz Players Have Never Heard Of Themselves
  
• Jazz Reminds Fans Racist, Homophobic Language Has No Place In Good Seats
  
• Indifferent Jazz Just Ask NBA To Draft Them A Forward
  
• Utah Fans Concerned As Jazz Break Huddle By Shouting 'Kill The Mormons'
  
• Confusing 24-Player Trade Sends You, Scottie Pippen To Utah Jazz
  

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

• Tim Gunn Takes Wizards Shopping For Less Hideous Uniforms
  
• NBA.com Video Of Sixers-Wizards Game Fails To Go Viral
  
• Gilbert Arenas Claims He Can Play Despite Sore Ankle Part Of Arm
  

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUSLY:

• Observer Rewind - 1987 by SaintRidley
  
• The Complete Wrestling Observer Rewind 1991-2001
  

1-7-2002	1-14-2002	1-21-2002	1-28-2002
2-4-2002	2-11-2002	2-18-2002	2-25-2002
3-4-2002	3-11-2002

• Going into Wrestlemania 18, a cloud of uncertainty hangs over the WWF. While the return of the NWO managed to spike a big buyrate for No Way Out and Rock/Hogan is probably gonna be huge for WM buyrates, it hasn't really affected TV ratings in any meaningful way. And this is the big part of the year. That doesn't bode well for the usual decline in business that always comes after Wrestlemania. From here, Dave just spends paragraphs talking about how bad booking over the last year has tanked the company from the peak they were at the previous year and what they should be doing different. And he's not wrong. In retrospect, with 18 years hindsight, pretty much all of this is right on the money. Way back as far as late '97, Dave was pointing out all the cracks starting to form in WCW and was trying to sound the alarm. Here in 2002, he's trying to do the same with WWF and sure enough, he ends up being right. The next two decades have been one continuous slow decline in popularity, for pretty much all the reasons Dave is warning about here. It's all really interesting, but it's not news. It's just business analysis.
  
• Which brings us to next week's Wrestlemania. Dave says there's never in the past been a Wrestlemania where the world title match had so little buzz going into it. Jericho as the WWF champion has been rendered completely secondary to the Triple H/Stephanie feud. But as of now, that match is still expected to go on last, even though all the advertising and mainstream publicity for the show is built around the Rock/Hogan match. Even Steve Austin, the biggest PPV draw in company history for the last 4 years, isn't being heavily featured in the promotion of the show (and boy, was he salty about it as it turned out). The NWO angle has pretty much been seen internally as a flop and there's not much further for them to go as a group after the show. After Mania is the brand split, which in theory should freshen things up and lead to some developmental stars being called up. But Austin and Rock are supposed to anchor each show respectively and Rock is expected to take a few months off this summer to film another movie (The Rundown) so that's gonna hurt the star power on whatever show he ends up on.
  
• More worrisome is that there have been pay cuts. Several wrestlers were approached this week and asked to take cuts to their downside guarantees. Dave talks about how Vince never wanted to pay anyone guarantees in the first place and only started doing so in 1996 when WCW forced his hand. So far, all the wrestlers asked were developmental stars or former WCW/ECW Alliance members who haven't been used on TV since the Invasion angle ended at Survivor Series. But it's expected more pay cuts are coming, especially for anyone who's contracts are coming due because obviously, no one has any negotiating leverage anymore. Chris Jericho is probably the biggest star who's deal is up for renewal soon and obviously, he's not exactly in a prime spot to play hardball. He's a much bigger star now than he was 3 years ago, so he'll probably still get a raise. But it won't be nearly would he could get if WCW still existed. (For this reason alone, I can't comprehend why anyone would want AEW to fail if you're a wrestling fan. And yet.)
  
• The pay cuts seem to be about $25K-per-year each. So for instance, the guys making $125K per year are being cut down to $100K. Then $100K guys down to $75K. Or in the case of the lowest paid guys, the $75K guys are being cut to $52K. WWF tried to soften the blow by saying that if/when these guys start working on TV and working regular house shows, then they start getting merch money and house show cuts and so they'll probably make more than their downside anyway. But anyone who's ever gotten a pay cut knows that's some corporate doublespeak bullshit. With nowhere else to make a living in wrestling, most of these guys are pretty much forced to smile and take it, but needless to say, they aren't happy. These people aren't rich and a $25K-per-year pay cut makes quite a bit a difference. And it's not like WWF needs to do this. They're still very profitable and they just offered the NWO guys monstrously huge contracts. This is just what happens when you have a monopoly on the industry and you don't have to pay your employees fairly. You could. But fuck them, right? (Man, this sure feels prescient in a world where a company light years more profitable now than at any time in its history just fired a bunch of people when they didn't have to.)
  
• Oh yeah, back to Wrestlemania preview. Dave runs down all the matches and what we know. Rock, Hogan, and Pat Patterson spent all day together at a gym in Florida last week choreographing their match. Apparently during his comeback house show match with Rikishi in Tampa last week, Hogan broke a rib and tried to keep it secret from everyone, but they found out. He's still expected to work Wrestlemania (he wouldn't miss it under any circumstances) but they're concerned about how much he'll be able to do. Also, because this is Toronto and he's so beloved there, WWF is expecting Hogan to get a huge reaction from the crowd (yeah, that's putting it mildly). Jericho/Triple H on paper should be a great match (they've had some classics together in the past) but the build-up has killed Jericho and the result is a foregone conclusion. Austin/Hall should be fine. UndertakeFlair has had the best build and for storyline reasons, Flair should win. But Dave ain't holding his breath. So on and so forth.
  
• Yup, this is definitely a slow news week. Now Dave writes a huge piece on the history of major shows in wrestling and how that led to the birth of Wrestlemania. How Vince gambled everything on the first WM and how closed circuit was such a vital part of the success. Talks about the history of closed circuit with wrestling, with the first national pro wrestling-ish event being broadcast nationally on CCTV was the Inoki/Muhammad Ali match, which featured other wrestling matches on the undercard. The inclusion of Mr. T and Cyndi Lauper were critical to the success of the first Wrestlemania and Roddy Piper's racist promos to Mr. T turned him into an mainstream celebrity along with Hogan. And then WM2 and WM3 and oh god, I'm just realizing as I type this that Dave has written multiple paragraphs about each Wrestlemania. This is fascinating stuff to read as a history buff and I seriously can't recommend it enough if you're subscribed to go read this. But I ain't recapping all that haha.
  
• More news on Jerry Jarrett's planned promotion, with the idea of doing $9.95 weekly PPV shows. Jerry and his son Jeff are now both fully involved with this, with the idea that they would be co-owners. Despite rumors, Jerry has denied that Vince Russo is involved in the company, but others are saying he'll be writing for them secretly (as mentioned last week, Time Warner execs only agreed to represent him in his lawsuit with Hulk Hogan if he doesn't work for any other wrestling company, so he can't openly be working with the company). The idea seems to be to pay the wrestlers $1,000 to $2,500 per show and run about 26 shows per year. In the meantime, the wrestlers would be allowed to work any other indies but wouldn't be allowed to work PPV or TV for anyone else. The problem here is the WWA promotion is still trying to gain a foothold in America and they want to use a lot of the same talent and Jeff Jarrett has involvement in both companies. Jeff is reportedly trying to work out an agreement where they can all share stars and get along but Dave says that's problematic when you have two companies using the same guys and trying to book different storylines and run separate PPVs. Jarrett's new company is looking to sign a core group of names to build around and Dave says you damn well better have them signed, because WWF will pluck away anyone who starts to gain any success. Jarrett is said to be interested in signing Scott Steiner, Eddie Guerrero, and Rey Mysterio for the new company. Anyway, Dave crunches the numbers and being very conservative, this new company would need to make at least $125,000 per week on PPV just to break even. And that's being optimistic. Once you take out the PPV company's cut, Dave estimates they would need to pull 31,000 buys at least to even think of breaking even. And again, that's being extremely conservative and assuming this company runs an extremely low-cost production. To have something with good production values that can be taken seriously as competition, you'd probably have to do double that. And even with national television, WCW and ECW weren't doing that many PPV buys by the end. So Dave is skeptical that this Jarrett promotion is gonna manage it without any TV. Not to mention, where are they gonna tape? Multiple cities? Gotta promote them and draw crowds. Dave thinks you'd have to heavily paper the crowd. And it takes months for PPV money to come in, which means Jarrett is gonna have to eat all these costs at the start. Basically, this idea is gonna be difficult to pull off (yup. If Panda Energy hadn't bailed them out, they were gonna be dead within the first 6 months under this plan).
  
• Big story about how the Vitor Belfort vs. Chuck Liddell fight has been cancelled. Why? Well, Belfort's lawyers sent a letter to UFC officials claiming that the fighter was sick with a malaria-like disease (ended up being dengue fever) and due to the medication he was on, he wasn't able to train properly. Sounds reasonable enough, yeah? Well....turns out Belfort isn't too sick to collect a paycheck in other ways. Belfort is the newest cast member of a Brazilian reality show called "Casa dor Artistas 2" which is basically exactly like Big Brother, in which a bunch of people are locked in this house with no contact to the outside world and are on camera 24/7 online, with daily edited versions airing on TV. So Belfort has now committed to being locked in this house for the next 90 days for a TV show, which means he couldn't make the fight with Liddell, scheduled for May. The winner of that fight was expected to face Tito Ortiz later this year, and Belfort vs. Ortiz is the big fight everyone has been clamoring for, and has already been postponed or canceled two other times (don't end up getting Belfort/Ortiz until 2005, and it ends up being a controversial split decision win for Ortiz).
  
• Former Memphis area wrestler The Dream Machine passed away of a heart attack at age 47. Dave says he was possibly the greatest talker of the last 25 years who never made it big nationally. Dave recaps his career in the 70s and 80s, with lots of quotes from Jim Cornette and Jimmy Hart. I pulled up a promo just outta curiosity.
  

WATCH: Dream Machine cuts a promo on Dutch Mantel from 1981

• All Japan Women held its first ever show on PPV this week, while facing an uncertain future. AJW is the 3rd longest-running promotion in the world (behind CMLL and WWF) but they've been struggling financially for years. And at the end of this month, they're losing their TV deal with Fuji Network, which has aired their show for 25 years. Anyway, the PPV was fine but something was missing. Manami Toyota, unquestionably the greatest female wrestler to ever live, stole the show in an excellent match, but otherwise, nothing memorable.
  
• Kiyoshi Sagawa passed away at age 79 this week. You probably don't know Sagawa's name, but he was the largest shareholder of NJPW and was the founder of Sagawa Kyubin, which is basically Japan's version of FedEx. Sagawa was a billionaire and owned the largest percentage of NJPW stock. He alone owned 40% of the company. It's believed Sagawa's shares will be bequeathed to Antonio Inoki, who currently holds 15%. This would give him Inoki a 55% stake in the company. But Dave doesn't expect much to change because Sagawa always backed Inoki anyway, so it's not like day-to-day is going to be any different.
  
• Eddie Guerrero debuted on the latest NJPW tour, teaming with Minoru Tanaka and Black Tiger. It's interesting because several years ago, Guerrero portrayed the role of Black Tiger. This time, it was played by Silver King. During the match, Guerrero and Black Tiger turned heel on their partner and joined their opponents in a 5-on-1 beatdown of Minoru Tanaka. Word is Guerrero looked really good on this tour so far (yeah, he was on fire during this time. Guerrero only works about 10 shows for NJPW on this tour and then WWF re-hires him and the rest is history).
  
• Hayabusa is said to have regained feeling in much of his body and can move his left arm somewhat, after suffering the career-ending injury back in October that left him paralyzed.
  
• Speaking of, Atsushi Onita and former FMW star Kodo Fuyuki are working an angle together over the dead FMW promotion. At an indie show, Onita came out and accused Fuyuki and FMW general manager Sakichi Nakamura of mismanaging FMW and using the company's money to make themselves rich while allowing the promotion to die. Onita also talked about how they stopped paying Hayabusa's hospital bills and used the money to enrich themselves. This is all leading up to Onita vs. Fuyuki soon, and of course Onita is using Hayabusa's injury as part of his angle. Because Onita is the carniest carny to ever carny.
  
• A made-for-TV movie about the life of Nobuhiko Takada and his marriage to TV personality Aki Mukai aired in Japan this week and was a huge ratings hit. Takada of course is a former pro wrestler turned MMA fighter who, frankly, should have stuck to worked fights because his reputation as a shoot fighter has been destroyed time and again in real shoots. He married Mukai, who is the host of a popular morning TV show (she's basically Japan's Katie Couric, Dave says) and she has been battling cancer recently. The movie was a tearjerker story about their inability to have children due to her cancer. The couple is looking to adopt a kid in the U.S. because adoption is apparently extremely difficult in Japan.
  
• Dan Severn regained the NWA title from Shinya Hashimoto at a Zero-One show in Japan this week. NWA president Jim Miller was there and a NWA Jersey (and American) referee officiated the match. The match ended with a screwjob finish, with the American ref fast-counting Hashimoto to give Severn the victory, which the fans haaaaaated and Dave thinks pretty well tarnishes whatever legacy the NWA title still has, in the one country where fans still sorta respect that belt. Dave says the idea here is Hashimoto is such a bigger star than Severn that he couldn't feasibly do a clean job to him in his own promotion. But Hashimoto doesn't want to go to America and defend the NWA title on a bunch of tiny indie shows for 100 people either, so he agreed to drop it back to Severn this way.
  
• Remember that Matrats promotion Eric Bischoff was involved in that sorta disappeared off the radar? It's not dead! Yet. Bischoff, who hates dirt sheets, thinks they're all lies, and has never confided in Dave Meltzer, did an interview with the Wrestling Observer website this week and talked about the plans for the company. It has been renamed Next Generation Wrestling and Bischoff talked as if they still plan to go into production for a TV series later this summer, but he admitted everything isn't yet finalized. Bischoff said the matches won't have pinfalls or submissions but will instead of have ringside judges awarding points for creativity and execution. Dave doesn't seem to be super on board with this concept (yeah, it goes nowhere).
  
• WWA promoter Andrew McManus claimed after the PPV disaster in Las Vegas that he would never again advertise anyone for a show that he doesn't have signed to a contract. So needless to say, the upcoming tour in Australia has names like Sid Vicious, Jeff Jarrett, Road Dogg, Buff Bagwell, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Scott Steiner, Sabu, Juventud Guerrera, and others being promoted. Needless to say, almost none of them have contracts with this company (most of them end up working the shows, but several do not). Speaking of WWA, after claiming they didn't get paid for their appearances at the Vegas show, both Terry Taylor and Larry Zbyszko have now been paid.
  
• Sid Vicious is in a commercial for an Alabama chain of restaurants called Jack's Hamburgers. The commercial shows a guy golfing when Sid comes in and slams him. Then it says "some things don't mix, like golf and wrestling" but then it says some things like the new Jack's bacon and cheddar do mix. The commercial ends with the golfer choking Sid with his golf club. I can't find this commercial, so I'm counting on you Wreddit. FIND THIS VIDEO! I need this in my life.
  
• Remember the story last week about the confrontation at the WWA show between Bischoff and Juventud Guerrera about a petition in WCW that Guerrera signed to have Bischoff fired? Well Dave has more details. The petition wasn't actually to get Bischoff fired, necessarily. After the incident at Bash at the Beach 2000 with Hogan, naturally, Bischoff took Hogan's side and it led to a big blow-up argument between he and Vince Russo. As a result, Bischoff pretty much walked out and said, "Here, let Russo run it and watch him hang himself." Which, of course, he inevitably did. But the point is, when Bischoff walked out, it looked as if there was going to be yet another power-change in WCW. Several of the wrestlers were fed up with their bosses changing on a monthly basis and never knowing who was in charge. So they put together a petition to give to Brad Siegel, basically asking him to give Russo a fair chance to succeed on his own and to let him remain in power in the wake of the Bischoff/Russo split. Bischoff wasn't even mentioned in the petition, it was mostly just a "don't fire Russo yet" petition. Of course, in siding with Russo to be the one in charge, that meant they were siding against Bischoff being in charge, even if that wasn't explicitly spelled out in the petition. Anyway, it apparently worked. Russo got to remain in power while Bischoff went home again. And then Russo spent the next few months booking himself to be WCW champion and screwing up everything else and within a few months, all those same guys were wishing Bischoff would come back. Anyway, a lot of people at the WWA show thought it was funny that Bischoff lashed out at Guerrera over it, because several other WCW wrestlers at the time, including Scott Steiner, also signed it.
  
• XWF's planned house shows for later this month in Michigan and Ohio have been cancelled. Everyone has pretty much been told to sit tight for now until September and have been given hints that a TV deal is imminent. But people have been saying that since this promotion launched (yeah, this obviously never happens. Unbeknownst to anyone, XWF is already dead at this point, they never ran another show).
  
• The plan for now (and it could always change again) is that the brand split will finally take place on the 3/25 Raw the week after Wrestlemania. It was originally supposed to be the very next night but they once again pushed it back a week, so that's where we stand for now. Promotional material for the Backlash PPV is already out and references Vince owning Raw and Flair owning Smackdown (and funny enough, it ends up going the other way) and split house shows are already scheduled for April. Dave still hates the draft idea because when guys (like Hurricane, for example) get drafted 28th, that immediately establishes them in the fans eyes as lower-card nobodies. The idea of a brand split is that it will force them to push new people and create new stars, but they've spent so long telling fans that only 3 or 4 guys matter and everyone else is minor talent. Doing a draft where guys get picked way down near the bottom just hurts them more and makes it harder to rebuild them as major players.
  
• Notes from Smackdown: Flair had a brawl with Undertaker and during the fight, there was a "fan" played by indie wrestler Paul London who got punched. London also worked a dark match against Perry Saturn at the show. Rock returned, with not a scratch on him after being murderdeathkilled in an ambulance by the NWO a couple weeks ago. Rock challenged Hogan to face him right then and there, but of course that didn't happen because c'mon. Vince isn't crazy enough to take Hogan's first televised WWF match in 8 years and just give it away on free TV less than a week before Wrestlemania, right?
  

WATCH: Perry Saturn vs. Paul London - 2002

• Notes from Raw: Dave calls it Raw Is Dog Shit. Oh, this should be fun. Turns out it was literally dog shit. The show was built around Triple H and Stephanie fighting for custody of their dog Lucy and at one point, it pooped on the floor. Stephanie ordered Jericho to walk the dog, because ya know, gotta build up the world champion for his Wrestlemania main event next week. The rest of the show was built around Vince and Flair in a boardroom arguing over ownership of the company with the board of directors. Jericho (while running another errand for Stephanie) accidentally runs over the dog. Riveting television here. They said the dog had a broken leg, which leads Dave to point out that Rock got practically murdered by the NWO a few weeks ago and we never got a medical update on his condition (he just sorta returned and was fine), but we found out about the dog's medical condition just minutes after it happened. As a result, Triple H came out and started attacking Stephanie, pretty much committing spousal abuse while the crowd cheered wildly, leading to Jericho attacking Triple H's quad with a sledgehammer, which would have been a fine angle if it hadn't been proceeded by weeks of making Jericho into Stephanie's whipping boy. And the main event was the 3-on-2 of the NWO vs. Austin & Rock. So yes, turns out Vince is crazy enough to book Hogan's comeback WWF match on a throwaway Raw 6 days before the biggest show of the year on PPV with no buildup whatsoever. It's the first time ever that Hogan and Austin have ever squared off against each other in a match (and it never happened again). Crowd was way into Hogan and Nash as well, since they were in his hometown.
  
• There's a Divas special airing on UPN this week and if it does strong ratings, UPN is interested in doing a whole Divas series. Dave suspects that won't hold up long in the ratings. But for what it's worth, the original idea for Smackdown waaaaay back when it was originally conceived was for it to be an all-women's show based around Sable (who was drawing monster ratings for her segments at the time). They even held auditions for new women before scrapping the idea and making it a second show like Raw.
  
• WWF's recent show in Japan was supposed to air on the TV-Tokyo network but it got canceled and then the network announced it was cancelling all WWF programming on the station. Turns out there was a big misunderstanding. The entire show was filmed by the network and they planned to broadcast it (with Keiji Muto doing commentary). WWF was under the impression that the show was being filmed only so they could air highlights of it as part of a sports recap show or highlight package (basically just a quick few minutes of clips on the news). WWF didn't approve for this show (a house show without all the bells and whistles) to be aired on TV in full, and when they found out, they contacted the network and said.....hey, uh, no. The network was pissed and in response, they canceled ALL WWF programming, effective immediately. This was the channel that aired Raw and Smackdown and this cancellation completely eliminates WWF's only television exposure in Japan.
  
• Speaking of that show, before the event, Antonio Inoki told the media that he hated what WWF had become and expected the show to be a flop. He specifically talked about the Vince McMahon kiss-my-ass club angle, with Jim Ross and William Regal kissing Vince's ass and said that sort of product would never get over in Japan and thus the show would be a failure. As we learned last week, it was actually a HUGE success. In response, Inoki has admitted he was wrong and says that he has lessons he needs to learn from WWF and maybe he shouldn't have been so dismissive of their style. Dave is flabbergasted. He talks about when AAA came to the U.S. in 1993 and outdrew both WWF and WCW by a huge margin for several shows. Can you imagine if Vince McMahon had looked at that and admitted that maybe he could have learned something from it rather than ignoring it? ECW and WCW sure learned from it, and those Lucha Libre stars became a huge part of their success in later years, while WWF still hasn't learned anything from it 9 years later.
  
• Nash and Hall are pushing hard for X-Pac to be included in the NWO and most people in the company figure it's inevitable that it will happen because Nash is pretty much undefeated in backstage political battles. He always gets what he wants somehow. Last Dave heard, X-Pac was expected to interfere at Wrestlemania in some fashion and then join the group the next night on Raw (didn't quite happen like that, but close). Lots of people in the locker room aren't happy about it because, for starters, it proves that Nash is still there to politic for his friends. And also, prior to his injury, X-Pac had fallen to a lower-card nobody status. So there's a lot of people not happy that he's expected to return and leap-frog the entire locker room and be put in the main event faction ahead of everyone else because of who his friends are.
  
• Mick Foley signed a book deal to publish his first fiction novel, which will be titled "Tietam Brown." It's expected to be out in early 2003 and it's not about wrestling. That's all Dave seems to know so far. Foley is also now the full-time host of TNN's Robot Wars show. Foley was also involved in a TV project that was being shopped around in which he would play a former pro wrestler adjusting to real life now that he's retired. Barry Blaustein, who directed Beyond The Mat, was involved and ABC was interested, but they eventually passed and the idea seems to have died (this is basically what that new Big Show show is on Netflix. The Observer Rewind Curious Timing Effect™ strikes again.).
  
• An idea that was pitched for Wrestlemania was for Stephanie to reveal she had been cheating on Triple H with Chris Jericho. Of course, that didn't happen. Dave talks about the Triple H/Kurt Angle storyline from a couple years ago where that almost happened but Triple H nixed it because it wouldn't be "believable" that Stephanie would cheat on him with Kurt Angle....a goddamn Olympic hero and the most legitimately bad ass athlete in the entire company. So of course, it wouldn't make sense for her to cheat on him with Jericho either. Sure, why not?
  
• On OVW television, they hinted that Ric Flair will be coming in soon to team with his son David against Prototype and Sean O'Haire. Looks to be scheduled for next month (indeed, this does happen but for the life of me, I can't find video of it).
  
• Another note from Eric Bischoff's interview with the Observer website, a dirt sheet website ran by a guy who he definitely never would talk to. Bischoff seems to be angling for a WWF job, saying contrary to popular belief, he wouldn't even ask for that much money to do it. He just wants to do something fun. He said they made him an offer last year, right when the Invasion angle was starting, but said he turned it down because he wasn't in good shape and didn't want to appear on TV. That's the story now. At the time, a year ago, Bischoff denied that he was ever given an offer and said he would never consider working for WWF. Dave says, in Eric's defense, the storyline they pitched last year was horrible and Bischoff was right to turn it down (they wanted him to come in and work a match with Vince at the Invasion PPV, get his ass beat, lose, and then that would be it). Adding Bischoff to the NWO angle now would be the obvious idea, but Dave says "invasion" angles never work in WWF because Vince McMahon doesn't commit to them, so adding Bischoff would likely just be another disappointment added to an already disappointing NWO return.
  
• WWF confiscated a "Nash is horrible" sign at the TV tapings this week. Dave doesn't get it. In the past, WWF used to criticize WCW like crazy for "censoring" fans and violating their freedom of expression and all that shit. But then they started doing it too. At first, it was anti-Rock signs that were being taken away, which Dave can kinda understand because he's a top babyface. But Nash is a heel. Don't you want people bringing signs trashing them?
  
• Scott Steiner's WWF physical showed several health issues that still need to be addressed before they sign him. The deal isn't dead yet and Steiner could still come in eventually, but that's the situation right now.
  
• WWF has reached out to both Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio and talked to them about coming in for the new cruiserweight division. Eddie has been busting his ass on the indies in hopes of getting re-hired while Rey has been working in Puerto Rico as of late.
  

WEDNESDAY: Fallout from Wrestlemania 18, the Hogan/Rock match, Steve Austin walks out (the first time), Vince McMahon talks about failed plan to bring Bret Hart in for Wrestlemania, and more...

When we think of high schoolers from the 1990s who had gone straight to the NBA the first names that usually come to mind are Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and Tracy McGrady. But have you heard of Leon Smith? Just like KG, Kobe, and McGrady, he was drafted in the first round straight out of high school, albeit with the 29th and final pick in the first round of the 1999 draft. His surprisingly little-known story is one of the more stranger and saddening stories I’ve come across while exploring the internet’s basketball rabbit holes. It’s a story that combines teenage egoism, an orphaned young man being handed instant fame and fortune, and mental health crises. To be honest, I was extremely surprised by the fact that barely anything is written about this guy on the internet. I don’t think I’ve ever personally come across a post or even a comment on this subreddit about Leon Smith. If you type “Leon Smith basketball” on Google the latest articles that pop up are from 2002. Weird. Even though his basketball career amounted to quite little, his story is one that’s worth discussing. I’m certain it would be a top sporting headline if it were to have happened 20 years later, especially with athletes being much more open about their own mental health struggles in recent years.
What my post will do here is summarize Leon’s time in the shadows of the NBA. But if you’re bored and have nothing to do amidst this quarantine thing, I strongly recommend you read the three articles I reference at the bottom of this in their chronological order. Again, Leon’s tale is truly fascinating and what I write won’t give justice to the details in these pieces that make his story what it is.
“The manchild staggers backward, nearly upending a stroller and its tow-headed contents before regaining his balance. Once again, Leon Smith has been tripped up by fate.” These are the first two sentences written about Leon Smith in a summer 1999 ESPN article by Stephen Rodrick. Leon, a big (6’10 + 7’6 wingspan) and skilled forward hailing from the projects of Chicago, was a local phenom and a top college basketball recruit in 1999. He was the 12th ranked high-schooler in the nation in the 1999 RSCI rankings, 2 spots higher than Jason Richardson and 4 spots lower than Carlos Boozer.
After a tumultuous 1998-99 school year which included him trying to transfer to California, having a missing person’s report filed on him, bad grades, ditching practices, and ultimately winning the city championship, he decided to forgo college altogether and declared for the ’99 draft. He was drafted by the Spurs with the 29th pick and immediately had his rights traded to the Mavericks. Allegedly, GM/coach Don Nelson was worried that the emerging super-team Lakers would draft him with the 30th pick. Interestingly enough, Nelson had never seen Leon play nor had he interviewed him. For Leon, an abandoned child who grew up in group homes with seven siblings, making it to the NBA was a big success. A boy who had used to pick through garbage with his brother for food had now secured $1.45 million of guaranteed NBA money.
To onlookers, Leon mostly came off as quiet and shy, but goofy once he felt comfortable. Perhaps he wasn’t too wise either judging by the fact he had his girlfriend’s name “Cappie” tattooed onto him. For those curious, Cappie was a women’s high school basketball star from Chicago just like Leon. Today you might know her as Cappie Pondexter: a 7x WNBA All-Star, WNBA Finals MVP, and one of the best point guards in women’s basketball history. Small world. Leon was also a gold mine for out-of-the-box and at times odd quotes. Here are some of my favourites from the aforementioned ESPN article:
On basketball:

“This is a game that started out being played by ladies. Then man decides they want to play, and they wreck this game. I didn’t create this game. I’m just it. I’m lost just like every other player involved in this whole system.”

On what he tells children when he visits them at group homes:

“I’m not gonna sit there and tell anybody not to sell drugs. Everybody is gonna choose their own path. I can’t judge them. If you’re going to be the best bank robber, rob the bank the best you can without hurting anybody. You got to make your own decisions whether for good or for bad.”

On the possibility of any regrets regarding going pro so early:

“Nobody knows why things happen, why you’re white and I’m black. It’s all unexplained phenomena. I can’t explain why my past is my past. I can’t look back, I have to look forward.”

Anyway, Leon’s early criticisms stemmed from his unusually poor work ethic and lack of basketball fundamentals. Eventually, his character also became a concern. In the summer of 1999, an incident occurred at Mavs rookie camp. As per the ESPN article:

“On July 6, the media had gathered at the Mavs practice facility to witness the unveiling of the team’s No. 1 pick. Things went well until the wind sprints. When a scrub finished too slowly, assistant coach Donnie Nelson, son of head coach Don Nelson, announced that the whole team would run again. Leon had other ideas. ‘You run it’, he shouted at Donnie. Nelson told Smith such insolence had just doubled his sprints. At that point, Leon stripped off his jersey and stalked alone to the locker room. The scene made for great video. Leon Smith’s introduction to the nation was as a crybaby. The next day, Smith semi-apologized, saying, ‘This is Leon every day. I’m not going to change.’”

This was the beginning point of a downward spiral. Up next was Leon firing 2 agents in his first NBA off-season and him being banished from being around the team as a result of his behaviour. He was asked not to attend the Mavs season opener in Chicago on November 2nd, 1999 but did so anyways against the wishes of the front office and coaches. Not even 6 months had passed since the draft and the Mavs wanted nothing to do with their first round pick. To Leon’s friends and family, it was the team that was in the wrong for their mishandling of the young protégé. From there things got exponentially worse.
On November 14th Leon attempted suicide by swallowing 250 aspirin tablets. When police officers arrived at the scene, he had war paint painted on his face and told them “I am an Indian fighting Columbus”. Luckily, he survived despite arriving at the hospital in critical condition. At some point between November 2nd and 14th, Cappie had broken up with him which evidently triggered a breakdown. After being released from the hospital Leon was arrested twice for threatening Cappie and damaging her family’s car in a fit of anger. Following this, he was admitted to a psychiatric ward where he was ordered to remain for a month. He was let go by the Mavericks in February 2000, and his time in the NBA looked like it was over before it even began.
Following his release from the psychiatric ward, Leon continued his professional basketball journey with the goal of playing in the NBA. Between 2000 and 2002 he bounced between teams in the now defunct IBL (International Basketball League) and D-League. In January 2002, he got a fresh opportunity with the injury-riddled, bottom-dwelling Atlanta Hawks. They signed Leon to a 10-day contract, which led to two more 10-day contracts, followed by a multi-year contract. He played a total of 14 games for the Hawks that season, averaging 7 minutes per game. Unfortunately, he was traded to the Bucks in August and waived in the pre-season. The next couple of seasons he again bounced between minor leagues with a stop in Puerto Rico. At the end of the 03-04 season the Seattle Supersonics took a gamble on the still young big-man, but he only suited up for one game for them. He was again waived in October the following season.
Following his release from the Sonics in 2004, Leon took what looks like a 3 year hiatus from basketball. Some sources say that he played in Mexico and Chile at some point, but it’s difficult to find out when and where. In 2007 he signed with a team in Argentina, and that was the last stop in his professional basketball career. Luckily for curious basketball fans like you and I, this brief stint in Argentina produced the only online video I could find of him playing basketball: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc-AcO1igs0 . It’s quite clear that this guy is physically in a league of his own. Big, dominant, and not afraid to dunk the ball in your face. His finishing was pretty clearly NBA-level and he swallowed rebounds whole. He even had a couple of nice passes in that game. The Argentinian crowd absolutely loved him judging by their cheers and his post-game autograph handouts. You can really see why he was drafted straight out of high school and why the Hawks and Sonics gave him second and third chances following his Mavs spell.
Since 2007, Leon has essentially disappeared from the internet and has become a bit of a mystery. You would think that as a guy who was drafted in the first round out of high school he would be mentioned more often – even as a cautionary tale – but that doesn’t seem to be the case. You would also think, given what we know about mental illness in 2020, that his story would be more of a focal point when discussing the taboos of mental illness in the sporting world, but this also doesn’t seem to come up. After all, it was only 8 years ago that Royce White was drafted into the NBA and broke barriers as a vocal advocate for mental health accommodation after revealing his own struggles to a national audience. Since then, we’ve had stars in Kevin Love and DeMar DeRozan also open up about their respective problems.
Despite it being a decade and a half since the mainstream has heard from Leon Smith, I hope that he’s doing okay. To be honest, part of me is slightly worried that there’s a less-than-okay reason why we haven’t heard of him at all since the mid-2000s. With respect to his privacy, maybe it’s best not to get too deep into an investigation. What Leon does leave legacy-wise is an important story about the rigors of mental illness combined with new-found fortune and fame. He definitely wasn’t ready to be an NBA player, and the NBA wasn’t ready in 1999 to handle the mental health crisis of one of its players. Although to a certain extent Leon is responsible for his own misgivings, I can’t help but imagine what could have been if he hadn’t been born into a worst-case-scenario. When I think of this, I go back to a part in the ESPN article which discusses his childhood:

“By the age of 5, Leon Smith, with his younger brother, Jerry, had become adept at sliding under the gates of convenience stores around Chicago’s Rockwell Gardens projects. Not getting fed at home, the brothers lived on the candy they swiped. Eventually, they got caught. 'Wheres your mom?' the cop asked. 'Don't know', Leon mumbled. A funny thing happened at police headquarters. Leon didn’t want to leave. 'That police station was the cleanest place we’d ever been in our young lives', he recalls. 'I didn’t know a place could be that clean.'”

TLDR: Leon Smith was a high school 1st round pick in 1999, had severe personality issues as related to an extremely unfortunate upbringing, dated a future WNBA great, attempted suicide, was arrested twice and put in a psych ward, was released by the Mavs before playing a game, managed to have a couple of cups of coffee in the NBA but mostly toiled in minor and international leagues, and has been virtually forgotten about since the mid-2000s. His current status is a mystery.
Articles that I used and that you should read in chronological order:
https://www.espn.com/espn/magazine/archives/news/story?page=magazine-19990906-article30 (Summer 1999)
https://www.nytimes.com/2000/01/30/sports/pro-basketball-blinded-by-talent-leon-smith-struggles-to-return-to-the-nba.html (January 30, 2000)
https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2000-12-17-0012170023-story.html (December 17, 2000)